I WANT to sweat it out.
Why is that when I'm the most stressed, with the least amount of time, all I really want is to go Spinning? And when I have the time, oh like all day Sunday and Monday, I sit around and eat pizza and french fries?
I vow to not let my next day off go by without exercising. My body screams for it.
Well, as long as it doesn't snow a foot that day, I suppose. :)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I'm back in style.
Blogging style, that is.
Some big things have changed in my life. I moved to Boston last September to get my graduate film degree from Boston University. I broke up with my verbally abusive alcoholic boyfriend. For good. I quit smoking (yay!). And I am now forced to (but secretly grew to love) walk 3 to 5 miles everyday, seeing as I don't have a car and public transportation isn't always the most reliable.
I have a wonderful creative outlet now (making films) that teaches me to appreciate the things I am capable of, the stress I am able to endure and the obstacles I can overcome.
Some things that haven't changed: My unstable relationship with my father, my inability to control my binge eating, and my insecurity about my body image.
I've decided to start writing again not because I'm back on a diet (although those who prefer more structure should really give Weight Watchers a try), but because I am trying to perfect an eating and exercise regimen I can live with. When my body is happy and satisfied, my emotional self has a far better chance to feel the same.
I will only worry about the things I can control, and have the will to let go of the things I can't...
So this is a new frontier involving smaller portions more often and exercise routines that are a little less strenuous so I can motivate myself to actually do them most days of the week instead of just one or two.
A small goal I have is to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes by springtime so I can start exercising outside (so much more enjoyable).
Another goal is to lose a pant size--because although I automatically lost 10 pounds last semester from all the walking, I did not drop a size. Walking builds the muscles in your butt and thighs, which are the two places I carry all my weight. I refuse, REFUSE, however, to weigh myself, even once a week. I just cannot deal with it, so best to avoid it all together.
Something wonderful that has come out of my newly found daily exercise as a pedestrian: I can walk up five flights of stairs without being even the slightest bit winded; I carried a suitcase that weighed 80 lbs. (the airport weighed it when I got there), a camera that weighed 20 pounds, and a backpack with a large laptop and eight books or so up three flights of stairs and then down ten blocks on my way to the airport to go home for Christmas break. Six months ago I would have taken a cab and ponied up the $30, telling myself that there was no way I could physically get all that luggage their with my own strength. I felt invincible that day.
It's the small things. It is. And yes, occasionally I have a venti soy chai latte from Starbucks, but I no longer eat coffee cake and I certainly don't hide chocolate in my desk drawer any more.
I'm writing again for hope, for motivation, for inspiration. I hope to reconnect with those of you I had been in touch with frequently, as I never meant to abandon my post.
Some big things have changed in my life. I moved to Boston last September to get my graduate film degree from Boston University. I broke up with my verbally abusive alcoholic boyfriend. For good. I quit smoking (yay!). And I am now forced to (but secretly grew to love) walk 3 to 5 miles everyday, seeing as I don't have a car and public transportation isn't always the most reliable.
I have a wonderful creative outlet now (making films) that teaches me to appreciate the things I am capable of, the stress I am able to endure and the obstacles I can overcome.
Some things that haven't changed: My unstable relationship with my father, my inability to control my binge eating, and my insecurity about my body image.
I've decided to start writing again not because I'm back on a diet (although those who prefer more structure should really give Weight Watchers a try), but because I am trying to perfect an eating and exercise regimen I can live with. When my body is happy and satisfied, my emotional self has a far better chance to feel the same.
I will only worry about the things I can control, and have the will to let go of the things I can't...
So this is a new frontier involving smaller portions more often and exercise routines that are a little less strenuous so I can motivate myself to actually do them most days of the week instead of just one or two.
A small goal I have is to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes by springtime so I can start exercising outside (so much more enjoyable).
Another goal is to lose a pant size--because although I automatically lost 10 pounds last semester from all the walking, I did not drop a size. Walking builds the muscles in your butt and thighs, which are the two places I carry all my weight. I refuse, REFUSE, however, to weigh myself, even once a week. I just cannot deal with it, so best to avoid it all together.
Something wonderful that has come out of my newly found daily exercise as a pedestrian: I can walk up five flights of stairs without being even the slightest bit winded; I carried a suitcase that weighed 80 lbs. (the airport weighed it when I got there), a camera that weighed 20 pounds, and a backpack with a large laptop and eight books or so up three flights of stairs and then down ten blocks on my way to the airport to go home for Christmas break. Six months ago I would have taken a cab and ponied up the $30, telling myself that there was no way I could physically get all that luggage their with my own strength. I felt invincible that day.
It's the small things. It is. And yes, occasionally I have a venti soy chai latte from Starbucks, but I no longer eat coffee cake and I certainly don't hide chocolate in my desk drawer any more.
I'm writing again for hope, for motivation, for inspiration. I hope to reconnect with those of you I had been in touch with frequently, as I never meant to abandon my post.
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